HOW TO LOVE LIVING ALONE.

There maybe many reasons why at 50+ you find yourself living alone. If it was not your choice it can be daunting and you can feel lonely. Being alone and being lonely are two very different things.

Data from the Office for National Statistics show that the divorce rate is increasing for the over 50s to an all time high. Or the death of a beloved partner can have a devastating affect on you . Or it maybe you never met a partner you would want to live with.

After a stressful divorce, lets face it , its ALWAYS stressful , over 20 years ago I made a conscious decision to remain independant and in control of my life and keep the sanctity of my home, alone. I have stuck to that decision and never once regretted this. I would not have had such an amazing adventurous life full of interesting people yet keeping my home as a peaceful sanctuary. As a single mother I of course had my Son to devote my undivided attention to in the home. Of course I did date and enjoy the company of men I just never saw the need to live with one. There was more to lose than to gain. Certainly more washing , cooking and ironing !! Lol ! Now my Son is a beautiful young man and is no longer at home I still relish being able to experience peace and freedom WHEN I CHOOSE. One of the most elusive achievements in busy lives today is to be able to find peace and harmony and live a healthy rewarding life. This is always possible when you live alone. Living alone also makes you a stronger person, it begins and ends with you. Decision making, emotional stability a wider social circle , financial responsibility can all grow your confidence. You are not a half you are a whole …..the driver of your own destiny.

I realise there are many couples who have an enjoyable fulfilling life. It is whatever works for you as an individual but if for any reason you are reading this and you suddenly find yourself alone later in life, embrace it. My social circle largely consist of both men and women choose to live alone and like me they are honestly the happiest people I know. Gone is the myth of the sad singleton. Most people later in life who have tried living alone for a few years find that they too admit they would find it hard to live with someone again. So, if you find yourself sitting at home reading this as your newly single let’s cheer you up with some light hearted reasons to LOVE LIVING ALONE !

  • In charge of all your finances no need to hide those new Manolos
  • The TV remote is ALL yours
  • Sleep well. No snoring, fidgeting, stealing the bed linen.
  • No pressure to perform….or sulking if you don’t !!!
  • Less time spent queueing up for a weekly shop in supermarkets
  • Less time wasted on chores
  • Great girls nights out without worrying about waking someone up when you get in.
  • Accept whatever exciting invitations come your way
  • You don’t have to share the tub of Haagen Dazs.
  • Studies have shown single people are fitter and happier.
  • Less lonely in your old age as you have been used to living alone and have developed a social circle.
  • Pamper nights in without feeling guilty
  • No compromises
  • You get the last rolo !!

I could list a hundred other reasons !!!!

JOJOS STYLELIST TIP: LIVING ALONE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE BUT IF YOU FIND YOURSELF SINGLE IN YOUR FIFTIES THERE ARE LOADS OF POSITIVES I PROMISE YOU . YOU WILL LOVE IT. LIVE BY YOUR OWN RULES. CREATE YOUR OWN BLUEPRINT.

JOJO XXXXXXX

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MIDWEEK MANTRA

HAPPY BUDDHA MEDITATION

Meditation is important in everyday life but I realise its not possible to always fit this into your busy schedule. So, today Im going to gift you a 5 minute meditation to do each morning to start your day the right way !!

Find a quiet place, standing with feet firmly rooted to the floor. Total silence concentrate on your breath.

STAGE ONE

Stretch arms up to the light . Inhale the light through your outstretched palms and top of your head. Visualise that the sunlight flowing through you has positive, spiritual and healing energy in it. As you body fills with light right down to your legs. Start to exhale. Visualise the light flowing down through your feet into the earth. Return your arms to your sides.

STAGE TWO

Stretch arms up to the light. This time inhale energy from the light through your palms and the third eye (mid-eyebrow point). Once again flood your body with light taking it down to your feet. Then exhale bouncing the light back up through your body rushing through your internal organs liver, intestines, heart, lungs cleansing them and filling them with light . Let the light leave through your palms and your third eye. Arms to your side.

STAGE THREE

Stretch arms up to the light. Visualise the light entering your palms and third eye again flooding your body with warmth and goodness and positivity as you inhale slowly. When your body is full of light start to exhale slowly. Now visualise that the light is swirling in a spiral manner up through your body collecting negative energies. Getting rid of harmful chi and sickness, negative thoughts, forgive people. Let the light exit your body through the three main points as it leaves all the negative energy is instantly and permanently burned up. Arms to sides.

Now you are ready to go out into the big wide world …..protected.

JOJOS STYLELIST TIP: I DO THIS EVERY MORNING YOU REALLY DO RECEIVE THE DAY IN A CALM POSITIVE MANNER. THANK YOUR BODY FOR ALL IT DOES FOR YOU.

JOJO XXXXXX

DISCOVER HEALING WITH SOUND THERAPY

As a fully graduated Sound Therapist and a member of the International Institute of Complementary Therapists (IICT) I can really appreciate the value that I have witnessed with my clients. Living in LA the Sound Therapy path is already fully established as millions of people continue to seek out this therapy and establish a regular routine based on the amazing health benefits they have experienced first hand. I also enjoyed these wonderful sessions and on returning to UK decided to train to bring this to UK. These days the market for Sound Healing has boomed in the UK it is a growing phenomena. Being used in retirement homes, hospitals or personal practices Sound therapy is here to stay so let me give you a brief introduction and a video to see if you like it too !

YOUR JOURNEY STARTS HERE

Sound Therapy can be conducted 1:1 or in a group as a Soundbath. It is one of the oldest forms of healing known to man, used in the ancient civilisations of China, Egypt, Greec and India. Modern science now supports these ancient beliefs – that all matter comes from vibration and sound.

Gongs, Tibetan singing bowls, cosh chimes, drums and other harmonic frequencies are played during these sessions. Through the frequency of these sounds and entrainment it is easy to shift from a beta state (normal waking consciousness) to an alpha state ( relaxed consciousness ). Most people will transcend to a theta state (meditative) and even a delta state (internal healing occurs).

The sound becomes the vessel to carry you to a deeper state. Scientifically linked to reducing stress and anxiety. Think of a flowing stream , clean and full of energy, then a stale stagnant pool of water. YOUR body is 75% water so it is vital that we constantly renew and unblock our flow and release any stagnant area.

THE BEST NEWS…….. ALL YOU have to do to reap these benefits is lie comfortably and let the sounds wash over you. Experience this now via the video if you can listen through headphones can be more immersive but just find a quiet place to relax and lie down comfortably.

SOULJUNK-E.COM

LOVE AND PEACE

JOJO XXXXXX

JOJOS STYLELIST TIP: ENSURE YOU CHECK YOUR SOUND THERAPIST IS FULLY ACCREDITED AND IS A MEMBER OF A PROFESSIONAL BODY (CMA,IICT)

SUSTAINABILITY IN FASHION

Last week I attended a fashion event at Bicester Village in conjunction with Harpers bazaar. I had intended to write today about the A/W trends but AVRIL MAIR (Group Luxury Fashion Director) and Kim Parker (Fashion and Jewellery Director) touched briefly on sustainability in the fashion Industry.

Avril Mair and Kim Parker

What I have since discovered concerned me so much that I decided to dedicate todays article about it. It led me to ask the question WHO IS TO BLAME: THEM OR US ?

WHAT IS SUSTAINABILITY?

Fostering change in the systems towards great ecological integrity and social justice.

FOCUS ON FASHION

The fashion industry is the second most polluting industry in the world, after oil and gas. Rubber, leather and textiles make up 9% of all solid waste. Water consumption within the industry is growing substantially. More recent reports show that the fashion industry is slowing down its sustainability efforts. But is this because of an all time high demand for quick turnaround cheap fashion.

FAST FASHION

Ironically 75% of consumers indicate that sustainability in the clothing industry is important to them. But is it the consumers insatiable appetite for ‘fast fashion’ that is the real problem ? Causing the fashion industry to lose in the sustainability stakes.

Even though the industry is working to reduce its environmental footprint people are buying more and more clothes at ridiculously cheap prices. According to AVRIL MAIR we are wearing an item of clothing only up to 6 times in these current times !!!!

British consumers buy more new clothes per person than any of its European counterparts. Even the historic two annual fashion seasons have now very blurred lines with many fashion houses doing 4-6. While high street stores now do “weekly drops” to keep up with customer demand to buy disposable cheaper pieces. What is driving this I ask myself ? Desire,status,ego or just a need for excitement……or a fast fashion fix ? This fast fashion turnover of clothing (usually made from chemically laden fabric)can clog up landfill and causes 1.2billion tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions. That is more than the emissions from international flights and shipping combined .

Throughout my Styling career I have ALWAYS emphasised the need for “style for life rather then a slave to fashion” and re positioning that focus. Concentrating on investment pieces with a couple of updates each season. Clothes that last a lifetime or at least, a long time. Planning your wardrobe not impulse buying.

Cheaper clothes = environmental damage. Beyond doubt.

Are consumers placing impossible demands on the fashion industry that it is almost impossible to improve sustainability ?

Let’s look closer………

ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT

WATER CONSUMPTION

It can take up to 3000 litres of water to produce one shirt. 10 000 for one pair of jeans.

Cotton production itself uses huge amounts of water . Also it is normally grown in warm dry climates where water is scarce.

WATER POLLUTION

Washing polyester releases microfibres into the water system and microscopic plastics that find their way back into the food chain. The process of dyeing clothes lead to toxic chemicals polluting the water on a massive scale.

FASHION WASTE

Consumers disposing of these non bio degradable materials into landfill has risen massively into the 1990s. But fashion waste from cutting patterns is also a major problem. Although more Companies are now adopting zero waste cutting techniques.

GAS EMISSIONS

Synthetic fibres of which fast fashion tends to be produced e.g. polyester,nylon,acrylic are all made using fossil fuels. Polluting both air and water. Carbon emissions generated by the clothing an average UK household over a year is equivalent is equivalent to driving a medium sized car 6000 miles.

SOCIAL INJUSTICE

Sustainability of course includes the workforce. Cheap clothes means cheap labour usually in very poor working conditions. Exploitation is generated by a need to cut costs and the volume required to satisfy demands. A lot of our clothes are assembled in India and China workers are paid low wages, poor health and safety conditions and degradation. Child labour is frequently used whose families dare not question the quality of their sons and daughters treatment.

Contemplating at Bicester

CONCLUSION

There is no doubt that we need to explore better technology, water consumption, produce recyclable materials and and implement better working conditions to reduce the social and environmental impact, of this giant industry worth globally £300 billion per annum. But does the real answer lie with us the consumer who is demanding quick manufacturing at low prices. Perhaps we need to persuade David Attenborough to do a programme on the fashion industry !

JOJOS STYLELIST TIP : PLAN, PLAN, PLAN. AROUND TWO SEASONS AND STICK TO IT. SHOP MINDFULLY-DO YOU NEED IT OR LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR WARDROBE.

GYM : WHY YOU MAY NOT BE LOSING WEIGHT

All my life I was a gym bunny on a regular basis but never really lost any wait. Since giving up the gym completely 10 years ago and discovering yoga I have lost two stone and kept the weight off to maintain a healthy size 10. I purposely do not belong to a club I do my yoga at home alone or with an occasional instructor so it is part of a daily lifestyle. At 50+ it is tough anyway to lose weight so exercise needs to be a lifestyle change just move as much as possible but more importantly it is about a healthy diet. So lets look at 12 traps that I fell into while going to the gym and they may resonate with some of you going to the gym regularly but getting fatter !



  • Losing weight is 80% what you eat and only 20% exercise. You may not be burning as many calories as you think you must eat less calories.
  • The reward factor. after a heavy workout you may feel “I deserve” a cake or a large latte. Lunch with friends maybe an extra glass of wine. Most gyms have cafes these were lethal for me to head there straight after with my friends.
  • Refuelling with carbs post workout like athletes do except……we are not athletes are we ?
  • Sports drinks are usually on sale at gyms. Manufacturers convince us we need these . We don’t. They are highly calorific and full of sugar. Water will do.
  • On the subject of water drink loads during and after working out as we sometimes mistake thirst for hunger . Dehydration can make us reach for sugary snacks.
  • Do not eat before a workout go when hungry. Insulin will stop the mobilisation of fat.
  • Drink black coffee before a workout it acts as a stimulant. The caffeine releases adrenaline hormones. I have always found my workouts easier with black coffee taken beforehand. Also it surprises the appetite AND no calories.
  • Mix up your workout to trick muscle memory. Doing the same routine every workout your muscles remember and it gets easier for them.
  • Quick 30 minute short bursts of activity won’t get your appetite raging. Endurance training makes you hungrier. By the end of a marathon there is also a huge appetite.
  • Learn to like the feeling of being hungry ! That is when you know you are in deficit and you are fat burning.
  • Eating healthy does not mean you can have twice as much or over indulge. Many healthy foods are calorie laden e.g. avocados,nuts,smoothies,protein bars, wholemeal bread.
  • Studies have shown that many people with a strict exercise routine move less throughout the rest of the day. So it is no good if you go to the gym every day for an hour but don’t move for 23 hours !!

I hope this will help you to avoid some pitfalls around your workout. Maybe you recognised one or two (or even 3 or 4 ??) to answer the question why you are working so hard and not losing weight. Lets kickstart that weightloss today !!!!!

JOJOS STYLE LIST TIP : ANY FORM OF EXERCISE IS IMPORTANT FOR HEART AND BONE HEALTH BUT IF YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT IT MUST BE COMBINED WITH HEALTHY EATING . NOT A DIET – A LIFESTYLE !

JOJO XXXXXX

EXERCISE : BEFORE GETTING OUT OF BED

Gentle stretching exercises before getting out of bed in the morning particularly as you get older to warm up the muscles is imperative. It takes just 5 minutes and the benefits will far outweigh an extra 5 minute sleep. You can actually feel the tiredness being squeezed out of the muscles after being sedentary for so long. At any age you should be doing the Bed Stretch 6. Six exercises holding for 6 seconds on each side.

I promise you that you will move with grace and style as you glide through the day. The mornings you choose to do these exercises you will see a difference in posture and movement instead of leaping out with gusto after not moving for hours.

I have done a video post rather than try to explain in words. You can copy to your phone but in no time this will become second nature and hopefully part of your routine. Try it !! Jojo xxxxx

OTHERHOOD:COPING WITH EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

Following the NETFLIX release of the much talked about film OTHERHOOD last weekend it prompted an emotional response. It deals with the trauma of three mothers and their distancing relationship with their sons. “Like their are breaking up with you on a gradual basis” was the quote that resonated with me.

Catch it on Netflix Now

As a Mother of a son think it definitely afflicts us more, girls on the whole tend to stay in touch. I am also a single Mother since my son was two so we had an extremely deep bond. Any article I have read on this deals with the void left when your teenagers leave for university, the first step. When being a mother changes , you are no longer needed in the same way. Motherhood becomes Otherhood. But often these days your offspring tend to return to the home post graduation.

As in the film though I believe the real isolation you feel from your Son comes in their twenties when they are carving out their own life…..without you. Many readers of my blog (50+) I am sure you will relate to this. My own son went off to University………..in Los Angeles a massive impact on me but now he is living in London and in his twenties I feel MORE distant.

This is a very real syndrome especially when you identify very strongly in your role as a Mother. The feeling can be overwhelming, almost a grieving period. My son was the centre of my life. Our daily time together was over.

Can I just add this can affect Fathers too. Whoever tends to be the primary care giver.

So lets look at some coping mechanisms

  • You have done a great job if your child is showing independence. Remember you primary purpose is to give them wings to fly the nest.
  • Your child will always need your support . Just cheering them on from the sidelines of the playing field of life. When they score the goals AND when they drop the ball. Let them know you are still their root.
  • DONT stalk them on social media.
  • Refrain from calling them everyday but DO still call regularly. They won’t call you. Don’t expect an instant reply to your text. I used to get upset if he did not reply within……3 minutes ! This is normal. You are no longer the centre of their world. Accept this.
  • Embrace your liberation. Write a ‘pleasure list’ of things that bring you happiness and do a daily pleasure. Its all about you ! Less time spent cooking, shopping, washing and ironing more time for you !!
  • Cultivate new friends and interests. These tend to be linked. Art galleries, a luxury brunch, long lazy lunches ( no school run ).
  • Update your image. Employ the help of a local stylist. New haircut. Clear out that cosmetic purse. Closet cleanse. Ready for this new chapter in your life.
  • Many marriages can fail at this time if your main focus was your children. Plan some together time. Reconnect. Travel. Date nights. Dancing classes. Beautiful lingerie.
  • Equally I personally have scheduled a lunch date with my Son fortnightly we take it in turns to choose a venue and to pay ! It really is a great catch up. We appreciate each other more as we no longer live in each other pockets.
  • Finally even though you feel as though you have been dumped do not express this and put pressure on them to treat you better will isolate them even further. This is a perfectly natural process in their twenties. It changes as they mature. they will be back.

Anyone going through this right now or your child is going off to University next month I would recommend you to watch the film, enjoy it and recognise we are all in the same boat with our sons (maybe some daughters too).Take the humorous route. Accept they are developing new relationships and you are no longer their main focus. they are on their own personal Journey and once they have been through the process of discovery they will return and will probably assume the parenting role over you.

JOJOS STYLE LIST TIP : FILL YOUR LIFE WITH JOY AND FREEDOM

JOJO XXXXX

Still hanging out…….. just not as much