PEOPLE ALWAYS POINT OUT HOW IMPECCABLE MY MANNERS ARE. THIS IS PROBABLY AS IT IS A DYING ART , WHEN I AM OUT IN THE BIG WIDE WORLD I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO STILL CARE ABOUT MANNERS.
NOW I AM NOT EVEN POINTING THE FINGER AT THE YOUNGER GENERATION AS THEIR MANNERS SEEM TO BE FAR BETTER THAN THE OLDER GENERATION. WE JUST SEEM TO HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLE. POST COVID EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE ANGRY AT EACH OTHER, STRANGERS AND THOSE WE HAVE BEEN LOCKED UP WITH !
2022 IS THE YEAR TO REDISCOVER YOUR MANNERS. LETS WAKE THEM UP GENTLY WITH A FEW SUGGESTIONS;
DRIVING. THE NUMBER ONE SOURCE OF ALL BAD MANNERS. DISPLAY COURTESY AT ALL TIMES TO OTHER ROAD USERS. LET PEOPLE IN FRONT, AND FLASH YOUR LIGHTS OR GESTURE A THANK YOU WHEN MOTORISTS DO THE SAME FOR YOU. IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE AND INCUR THE WRATH OF OTHER ROAD USERS HOLD YOUR HAND UP AND SAY SORRY. THERE IS NO POINT IN GETTING INTO ROWS AND ESCALATING A POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS SITUATION. LET IT GO ! IT IS NOT A COMPETITION. ON A SEPARATE NOTE NEVER TAILGATE SOMEONE AND DONT COAST IN THE MIDDLE LANE !!!!!!
PUNCTUALITY. YOUR TIME IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN OTHERS SO DONT STEAL THEIRS. I LUNCH WITH A REGULAR FRIEND (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) 3 TIMES IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS SHE HAS ARRANGED A DENTAL, A WAX, AND A MASSAGE APPOINTMENT AT THE SAME TIME AS OUR LUNCH APPOINTMENT TO ALLOW HER TO BE AN HOUR LATE EACH TIME !!! DONT LET THIS BE YOU. UNBELIEVABLY RUDE AND I AM CURRENTLY CONSIDERING MY POSITION. IM NEVER LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT AND I RECOGNISE SOMETIMES IT IS UNAVOIDABLE BUT IF IT IS JUST SLOPPY AND INCONSIDERATE TIMING WITH NO APOLOGETIC MESSAGE ON YOUR PART THEN IM GONE BY THE TIME THEY GET THERE.
CANCELLATIONS IF YOU HAVE MADE A PRIOR ENGAGEMENT AND ALL CHECKED YOUR DIARIES AND CONFIRMED. DO NOT CANCEL LESS THAN 48 HRS BEFORE, BECAUSE YOU GOT A BETTER OFFER. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE ARRANGED THEIR LIFE AND TURNED DOWN OTHER INVITATIONS /WORK TO BE THERE FOR YOU. HONOUR IT. I HAVE STILL MADE A CONFIRMED ENGAGEMENT AFTER UNEXPECTED MAJOR SURGERY BECAUSE I GENUINELY VALUE OTHER PEOPLES TIME AS MUCH AS MY OWN.
ACCEPT INVITATIONS PROMPTLY. IF YOU ARE LUCKY TO RECEIVE AN INVITATION FOR YOUR COMPANY REPLY WITHIN 48 HOURS DONT KEEP THEM WAITING. STICK TO IT (SEE ABOVE)
RESPECT SERVICE STAFF. MANY PEOPLE TODAY TREAT WAITERS,SHOP STAFF,SWITCHBOARD STAFF INVISIBLY. IF THEY ARE WEARING NAME BADGES OR HAVE TOLD YOU THEIR NAME, USE IT. REMEMBER YOUR PLEASE AND THANK YOUS. THEY ARE HUMAN TOO AND WE ALL WANT THE SAME BASIC THINGS IN LIFE. JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE SERVING YOU IT DOES NOT MAKE THEM LESSER THAN YOU. LETS MAKE THEIR JOBS EASIER AND MAKE THEIR DAY PLEASANT TOO. (UNLESS OF COURSE THE SERVICE IS BAD)
MOBILE PHONES, PUT IT AWAY. PLEASE DONT SIT OPPOSITE ME TEXTING MIDST CONVERSATION. ENJOY SOME HUMAN INTERACTION. EVEN WORSE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT WALK DOWN A STREET TEXTING AND BUMPING INTO YOU AND WALKING IN FRONT OF CARS ( NOW IM BOILING OVER!!) IF THIS IS YOU PLEASE STOP ! TODAY! LIVE IN THE PRESENT. ENGAGE WITH THE WORLD #LOOKUP I ALSO DONT WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS IN PUBLIC PLACES. TALK QUIETLY OR LEAVE THE AREA.
RESPECT YOUR NEIGHBOURS. MOST OF US HAVE NEIGHBOURS AND WE ALL WANT A HARMONIOUS ENVIRONMENT TO LIVE IN. SO KEEP THE NOISE TO A MINIMUM WHETHER ITS MUSIC, CHILDREN, DOGS OR ARGUING WITH A PARTNER. SO SHOW RESPECT TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE SHARING AN AREA WITH. ALSO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR NEIGHBOURS SMILE,WAVE,SAY HELLO. OTHER THAN THAT KEEP THEM AT ARMS LENGTH DISPUTES AND ARGUMENTS WITH NEIGHBOURS CAN ESCALATE QUICKLY AND CAN RUIN YOUR HOME LIFE.
KEEP YOUR PRIVATE HABITS PRIVATE. WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR OWN HOME IS YOUR BUSINESS BUT DONT BE SURPRISED IF OTHER PEOPLE GET UPSET WHEN YOU BRING UNACCEPTABLE HABITS INTO THE PUBLIC ARENA. ADAPT YOUR BEHAVIOUR TO SUIT THE SITUATION AND HOPEFULLY WE CAN ALL LIVE IN HARMONY.
FINAL NOTE…….. WHEN OFFENDED BY BAD MANNERS KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS RATHER THAN OFFENDING WHILE POINTNG OUT THEIR INCREDIBLY SELFISH SELF ABSORBED WORLD OF INCONSIDERATION.
IT WOULD BE LOVELY TO LIVE IN A WORLD OF POLITENESS AND CONSIDERATION TO OTHERS AND AVOIDING POTENTIAL CONFRONTATIONS. I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT MANNERS SO LET US WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE OUR SPACE A HAPPIER PLACE TO LIVE IN.
JOJOS STYLELIST TIP: MANNERS COST NOTHING , TAKE NO TIME AND NO EFFORT SO LETS GET PRACTISING !
Christmas is a time when we go into overdrive on our alcohol consumption. The run up to Christmas with an incredibly busy social scene right up until the day when we start on the Bucks Fizz at breakfast time …….then just continue.
If you are cutting out alcohol for any reason or if you just want to cut down do not let it spoil your Christmas. Especially if you are cooking the lunch !!! You can still join in and feel very naughty with three of my favourite non alcoholic Christmas cocktails. I don’t think anyone of us wants to feel inebriated on Christmas day ( well maybe there is a few of you !!) but even if you are having the mulled wine, the egg nog, the champagne and the wine it maybe a good idea to intersperse the alcohol for you and your guests with one of these. Also good for the children (well, it IS christmas )
1 glass of apple juice
1 cinnamon stick
teaspoon of agave syrup
Simmer gently all ingredients. Strain. Serve with a cinnamon stick.
1 glass of cloudy apple juice
A tot of elderflower cordial
Gold leaf for sprinkle and sparkle
Half fill a glass with cloudy apple juice . Add a tot of elderflower cordial. Top up with sparkling water. Lots of crushed ice. Mix well with a mixing spoon. garnish with a sprig of mint and sprinkle with gold leaf.
Raspberries fresh or frozen
Muddle the raspberries, mint and sugar and lime juice. Top up with sparkling water.
As you can see all very simple and quicker to make then normal cocktails so time saving too. The raspberry mojito can be whizzed up and pureed in a blender and served in a martini glass as a fake cosmopolitan. It all depends what you normally drink so change the glass to suit your mood.
JOJOS STYLELIST TIP: THIS ADVICE IS NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS BUT FOR LIFE…..FOR EVERY ALCOHOLIC DRINK HAVE A NON ALCOHOLIC DRINK. MY ‘GO TO’ IS ELDERFLOWER CORDIAL AND SODA SERVED IN A CHAMPAGNE GLASS. SO YOU DONT APPEAR TO BE A PARTY POOPER AND PEOPLE DONT FORCE YOU TO EXCEED YOUR LIMITS. ADDED BONUS OF SAVING CALORIES TOO !!!
Gentle stretching exercises before getting out of bed in the morning particularly as you get older to warm up the muscles is imperative. It takes just 5 minutes and the benefits will far outweigh an extra 5 minute sleep. You can actually feel the tiredness being squeezed out of the muscles after being sedentary for so long. At any age you should be doing the Bed Stretch 6. Six exercises holding for 6 seconds on each side.
I promise you that you will move with grace and style as you glide through the day. The mornings you choose to do these exercises you will see a difference in posture and movement instead of leaping out with gusto after not moving for hours.
I have done a video post rather than try to explain in words. You can copy to your phone but in no time this will become second nature and hopefully part of your routine. Try it !! Jojo xxxxx
Following the NETFLIX release of the much talked about film OTHERHOOD last weekend it prompted an emotional response. It deals with the trauma of three mothers and their distancing relationship with their sons. “Like their are breaking up with you on a gradual basis” was the quote that resonated with me.
As a Mother of a son think it definitely afflicts us more, girls on the whole tend to stay in touch. I am also a single Mother since my son was two so we had an extremely deep bond. Any article I have read on this deals with the void left when your teenagers leave for university, the first step. When being a mother changes , you are no longer needed in the same way. Motherhood becomes Otherhood. But often these days your offspring tend to return to the home post graduation.
As in the film though I believe the real isolation you feel from your Son comes in their twenties when they are carving out their own life…..without you. Many readers of my blog (50+) I am sure you will relate to this. My own son went off to University………..in Los Angeles a massive impact on me but now he is living in London and in his twenties I feel MORE distant.
This is a very real syndrome especially when you identify very strongly in your role as a Mother. The feeling can be overwhelming, almost a grieving period. My son was the centre of my life. Our daily time together was over.
Can I just add this can affect Fathers too. Whoever tends to be the primary care giver.
So lets look at some coping mechanisms
You have done a great job if your child is showing independence. Remember you primary purpose is to give them wings to fly the nest.
Your child will always need your support . Just cheering them on from the sidelines of the playing field of life. When they score the goals AND when they drop the ball. Let them know you are still their root.
DONT stalk them on social media.
Refrain from calling them everyday but DO still call regularly. They won’t call you. Don’t expect an instant reply to your text. I used to get upset if he did not reply within……3 minutes ! This is normal. You are no longer the centre of their world. Accept this.
Embrace your liberation. Write a ‘pleasure list’ of things that bring you happiness and do a daily pleasure. Its all about you ! Less time spent cooking, shopping, washing and ironing more time for you !!
Cultivate new friends and interests. These tend to be linked. Art galleries, a luxury brunch, long lazy lunches ( no school run ).
Update your image. Employ the help of a local stylist. New haircut. Clear out that cosmetic purse. Closet cleanse. Ready for this new chapter in your life.
Many marriages can fail at this time if your main focus was your children. Plan some together time. Reconnect. Travel. Date nights. Dancing classes. Beautiful lingerie.
Equally I personally have scheduled a lunch date with my Son fortnightly we take it in turns to choose a venue and to pay ! It really is a great catch up. We appreciate each other more as we no longer live in each other pockets.
Finally even though you feel as though you have been dumped do not express this and put pressure on them to treat you better will isolate them even further. This is a perfectly natural process in their twenties. It changes as they mature. they will be back.
Anyone going through this right now or your child is going off to University next month I would recommend you to watch the film, enjoy it and recognise we are all in the same boat with our sons (maybe some daughters too).Take the humorous route. Accept they are developing new relationships and you are no longer their main focus. they are on their own personal Journey and once they have been through the process of discovery they will return and will probably assume the parenting role over you.
JOJOS STYLE LIST TIP : FILL YOUR LIFE WITH JOY AND FREEDOM
Hi to all my fabulous and fifty + friends. These days being fifty has a whole new look think Elle, J-Lo,Halle. They look super stylish and lead an equally super stylish life surrounded by beauty. You can live like this too and I hope to take you on a style journey with my blog. Not a destination, a continuing evolvement. If you are not going to embrace a life of style now….then when? So I am looking forward to getting to know you all welcome to our club.